Shinji IRL LOL!?

The neverending rumors of a live-action Evangelion film press on, this movie is not possible, that is it. The movie would be "adapted" like all blank to movies become. Shit wouldn't work, Evangelion is too ridiculously complex for it's own fucking good. The series tries to be deep by massaging the psyche with religious overtones. Look Japan, especially GAINAX... saying Deuteronomy again and again doesn't have any sort of thought provoking point.

And then we have what America would do to said Eva live action, they would layer the complications with further unnecessary complications, like saying that the Eva is the final stage in the perfect evolution plan caused by splitting the 23rd chromosome at the sub atomic level causing the body to gain a ridiculous regenerative metabolism and....you know the crap that Hollywood does to everything. Extrapolate when it's neither necessary nor appreciated.

Turning Max Payne into Constantine when the script pretty much wrote itself, making Doom too fucking complicated when the story has always been Demons on Mars LOL!! FUCK!! It's unbelievable folks. So if Hollywood feels the need to extrapolate on the source material then let it be a re-envisioning of something simplistic rather than Anno's hilariously successful social experiment.

Hollywood loves tapping every market without having to put something original on the line, don't take any risks on sci-fi guys...just keep adapting old stuff into urban remakes. It's easy! Ok, I'll give you one now:

Mega Man The Movie

Panning camera
New Line Cinema
Capcom Films
Dr.Light monologue as he works on Rock in the shadows, welding.
Dr.Light: I've made...mistakes....
Shows Light fixating the arm in the socket.
Dr.Light: I gave a madman the means to take over this city....
Wily laughing in shadows.
Dr.Light pulls a series of switches
Light: I will make amens.
This Summer!
Shows Mega Man charge his buster
Let's Rock
Obligatory Operatic Music
Roll: YOU CAN'T SEND ROCK IN! HE'S MY BROTHER!!
Light smashes a monitor
Light: He's our only CHANCE!!
Wily on a closed circuit television
Wily: Thomas...long time no see.....
Mega Man and Guts Man having a falling fight
Fire Man: This city will burn!
Mega Man: Not on my watch!

MEGAMAN!

SUMMER 200X

See how easy that was, I just wrote down a bunch of crap!

Now here's our fake Eva trailer.



The console scene is from iRobot, the city scene is from Ultraviolet and the Island, the council scene is from Aeon Flux with a shop of the Nerv logo, the Eva footage was made by a Vancouver Film Institute student, the terraform is from Armaggeddon, Fuyutsuki is Magneto in bad lighting, the military scene is also from Armaggeddon, the ship scene is from Transformers, you see Keanu Reeves in the

last scene with a photoshopped white coat, the foot that stomps down in one scene is an APU from the Matrix Revolutions, the only reason any of the scenes looks real is due to the distance away I was. The Eva 02 is from the PS2 game. The scene with Zerogouki standing up is altered light behind a building from a war scene in The Kingdom, the source model was the one made by the Vancouver student.


There you go! Enjoy kids